A man with a plan.

Yeah ok, this probably something I should come up with like... in december, as new year's resolutions but, thing is I've got waaayyy too much free time in my hands lately and I've decided it's time to be a little positive about things, therefore these are my "As soon as I'm in America" resolutions. I figure after 10 months people change... So I hope I change for the better and, for the sake of positive thinking, I came up with these.

I'm gonna have ten months to have most of these things turned into reality for me. And I think it should be in writting or else,it doesn't really count. Hey, it's not me, it's the system that lays down the rules so... So ok, here it goes.

I've decided ill create the best TV show in the history of television and that my ratings will be much higher than when there's a soccer game where Brasil is playing or when it's the world cup and Italy is - and I will be extremelly praised by all critics. And I've decided that, despite that fact (that I came up with the best TV show ever), I won't act all bugged and uncomfortable when the paparazzi hunt me for spontaneous pictures and, when I'm on a celebrity gossip TV show interview, I won't say "Aw that person is awesome" or "ah he's a good friend of mine, he's a babe!"I'll be honest.

I've decided my book will finally go past the computer keyboards and will be in a bookstore next to you. And in it you'll find more elaborated dialogues than Aldous Huxley's and more spontaneous than J.D. Salinger's and funnier/obvious than Jerry Seinfield's and the first edition will be published in 180 languages and 34 dialects. I've decided that this book will grant me a Nobel Prize and an extra chair in the Brazilian Writers Academy specially for me - by the head of the table, of course. And I'll be the first "immortal" to wear a specially made uniform, gala gawns based on Disney female characters. They will come in 4 different colors and it will be totally ok for me to wear Havaianas with them, in fact, they will be the same color as the dresses.
On Letterman, I'll say: "Hemingway who?". And to Oprah I'll say: "Excuse me, I'm the one doing the talking". I 've decided Stella MacCartney, Valentino, Carolina Herrera and Giorgio Armani will come check with me about the last trend and what color will be the next pink. Gisele Bundchen will come to me for diet tips and I'll talk to Heidi Klum about having so many children.

I've decided my drawings will be discovered by a scout a la Andy Warhol and that museums from all over the world will take Lichtenstein off their walls so they will have room for my art. I've decided to re-invent all theories regarding black holes and prove each one of them making Stephen Hawking jump from his wheelchair, oh by the way, proving Stephen Hawking doesn't even need a wheelchair will give me a Pulitzer.


I've decided to think new thoughts, the kind that would make Plato miss his cavern and Kierkergaard re-think his "irony concept". I've decided I'll win the Fields Medal, despite my similarities to John Nash go as far as seeing/hearing people/things that aren't there.(oh, and Bhaskara is not one of those people)
I've decided I'm gonna be just like Angelina Jolie - physically I mean, even if that means having to go thru small plastic surgeries (ok, maybe not that small).

I've decided that, financially, I'll beat Bill Gates and with that money I'll do more excentric things than just put little secret games on Excel spreadsheets. Ah and that I'll be offered a house in Tahiti Beach in exchange for my appareance in one of "Life of Luxury"episodes. And that the parties I'll throw will have the Pixies live and Tiësto and Paul Van Dyk fighting over the control of the pick-up tables will be more disputed than Hugh Hefner's, dispersando sua criação de coelhas. But even though I already have that house, I 've decided that Zaha Hadid will offer himself to design me another one, and I'll take it.

I've decided that thanks to an awesome acting course I'll be hired for the next hit franchise, above all James Bonds and Indiana Jones and Tomb Raiders and Harry Potters. I've decided I'll be Miss Universe without even going to a beauty pageant, judges will just look at me and know it's the right thing to do.

I 've decided I'll make Ronald McDonald work for Burger King from now on and that everything in both places will have 50kcal tops. Coca-Cola will give me their secret 'cause they think I'm the best one to keep it. I'll also discover (by mistake) what's the secret ingredient in the Big Mac sauce and I'll blackmail them. Either they pay me a really good allowance to keep my mouth shut or they'll have to go vegetarian (yes, I'm talking about replacing the potatos for carrots too - that kind of vegetarian.)

I've decided I'll get the whole original cast form Beverly Hills 90210 to shoot 112 new episodes just for me. Brenda and Dylan will be together in the end, as will Kelly and Brandon and that will be so cool I'll make them marry each other in real life too.

I 've decided that, as a Nobel winner writer, I will, I'll give opinions about the script and make the movie the favorite for the Oscars and that Charlier Kaufman will ask me for tips to make his own. With that, I'll win two Oscars, Best Actress and of course, Best Screenplay writher (and yes, I'm talking about 2009 Oscar) And the publicity for that blockbuster release will get me an Titanium Lion from Cannes.

I 've decided Colin Firth will be my lover. And/or George Clooney. And/or Vincent Cassel. And/or Keanu Reeves. And/or Justin Timberlake. And/or Adam Levine. And/or Brendan Routh. And/or Brad Pitt. And/or Michael Vartan. And/or Tom Welling. And/or Rodrigo Hilbert. And/or Gerard Butler. And/or Leonardo DiCaprio. And/or Patrick Dempsey. And/or David Beckham. And/or Matthew McConaughey. And/or Hugh Jackman. And/or Jake Gyllenhaal. And not just them. And not necessarily in that order. And not necessarily one at a time. And I've decided their love for me will be true, if it's not, I'll buy one that is.

I've decided I'll discover the cure for cancer and AIDS and that I'll find the perfect solution to end hunger in Africa and Brazil and in any other place in the world. That my speeches will seal the peace between jews and palestinans, between greeks and trojans,between Courtney Love and Dave Grohl.I've also decided I'll find Osama Bin Laden, and find out who created the "death dolls" and what's stonehenge for. I'll also find the island where Elvis, James Brown, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Locke, Sayid went to.

I decided I'll start a business in an inovating area, never thought before. Something that will make youtube look like hippie craftwork. And, if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, it means I'm on the right way.

And that's some of the few things I hope to accomplish while I'm there and if not... Well, I'm still young. :)